this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
