Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
