I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
