a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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