Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
