i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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