Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
