She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
