it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
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That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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