Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
