elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
