So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
