No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
