u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
vagina is talking i cant
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
