can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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