We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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