rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
