oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
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