I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
It's shark week go big or go home
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize