So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
