Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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