If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There's even glitter on my cock...
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