What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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