Having a random hookup so left but love u
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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