i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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