What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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