nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
