I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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