you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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