So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
