I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
God, I missed his penis.
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