we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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