We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize