i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
