WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
