Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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