ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
