But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I think your dad took our porno
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
