We're facebook friends in real life
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
