DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
