Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Randomize
