sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
