this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
