do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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