so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
