there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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