is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
