you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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