well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
