What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
