we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
