If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize