Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
