im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize