sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
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i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity