So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.