Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.