this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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