we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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