i just had sex bonerless
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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