dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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