did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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